Making children understand the value of things

As a mother, I’m often concerned about teaching my child the value of things. All too often children take things for granted. Instead of appreciating what they have, they take it for granted and feel entitled to those things.

The blame can’t be put entirely on the children though. Appreciation and thankfulness are taught behaviours. Parents tend to indulge their children. They want to protect them and keep them happy and they do it by making sure their child never lacks for anything. Unfortunately it often translates into children growing up expecting to have everything handed to them without any effort on their part.

So what can we as parents do to instill value and appreciation of things in our children?

Don’t replace things immediately

It’s natural for kids to break things. But do they understand the importance of the broken item? Instead of immediately replacing the broken item that belonged to them, wait a while. Let your child register it’s absence. When you do replace it, remind them about the broken one and ask them to take better care this time.

As a mum, I’m beginning to appreciate the wisdom in my parents’ rule. They had a one time replacement policy. We were told that if we broke a toy (etc) a second time it wouldn’t be replaced. It made us treat the replaced item like a treasure and also generally made us more careful with our stuff.

Make them aware of adversity

As parents we fiercely protect our children. We don’t want them to know or experience the harshness of the world. They believe that the privileged lives they live are the kind every one has.

It’s important for them to know that it isn’t so. Tell them about people facing adverse condition. Give specific examples of people less fortunate than them. Of course it doesn’t mean you show them pictures and documentaries of the famine in African countries. Make them aware of the people they come in daily contact with. Your building’s night watchman, your maid etc.

Making your children aware of adversity will help them realize that they shouldn’t take things for granted.

Encourage charity

You probably donate your children’s old clothes and toys to charity. Involve your kids in it. Tell them that you will be donating clothes, toys etc to help children less fortunate than them. Ask them to choose what they would like to donate. Let them pick and choose what they want to donate from their stuff.

Involving your children in charity will make them feel helpful and they’ll realize that they can’t be cavalier about their stuff since it could help someone in the future.

Ask your child to contribute

At one point or another your child will want something really badly. Be it a new toy, pair of sneakers, bicycle etc. They might not necessarily need them but they’ll want it all the same. Instead of just saying no (which will eventually turn into a yes) or buying it for them right off, ask your child to contribute.

While asking them to contribute a small amount from their pocket money is a good idea, you can also ask them to do some chores as their contribution towards earning what they want. Do this for things they want and not need.

Forcing them to give of their time and money will make them appreciate and value the item all the more. And occasionally, your child just might decide that what they want isn’t worth the effort and you’ll be off the hook!

Valuing more than material things

Asking your child to contribute has another benefit. They learn to value the importance of work we do. They realize that their room doesn’t automatically clean itself, the laundry doesn’t fold itself and their clothes aren’t ironed by genies.

I consider this the side benefit of making children work for things they want. They realize that their mum works hard all day, every day. And maybe, just maybe, we won’t be taken for granted so much either.